As men, we pride ourselves on our lovemaking abilities, and our sense of masculinity sort of depends on it. But the collective belief in our gender’s s*xual prowess can’t possibly be true, because there are legions of sexually unsatisfied women who say otherwise. According to Planned Parenthood, 80 percent of women have difficulty climaxing from vaginal intercourse alone. But that doesn’t mean we can’t get better. We’ve consulted science for factors that have proven to both make men better lovers and make s*x a better overall experience. Educate yourself—and enjoy her o-face.
1. Incorporate toys: Though many men fear toys could replace their God-given manhood, she’ll experience higher levels of desire, arousal, lubrication and climax, according to a study from the Kinsey Institute. The study also found that solo s*x with vibrators does not affect the s*xual enjoyment of another person, dudes, so let’s all please get over it and embrace adult toy boxes.
2. Experiment: Want to spice up your s*x life? Try new things, man! A study of 38,747 couples ages 18 to 65 who were either married or living together found that “trying new things” was the most important element in maintaining a great s*x life. The study concluded that mixing things up in the boudoir could keep couples as sexually satisfied as those first six months of a relationship when toe-curling s*x is at an all-time high.
3. Cuddle: Yes, embracing your loved one after s*x leads to higher s*xual satisfaction among couples. And,guys, don’t think it’s just her who wants it. This study, published in the Archives of s*xual Behavior, found that this sentiment is true in both genders. Don’t just get off and go to bed. Grab your girl and spoon a little.
4. Lube up: While it’s true that women produce their own lubricant, some of the store-bought stuff doesn’t hurt either. A study from Indiana University discovered that women who use lube during intercourse report higher s*xual satisfaction than those who don’t. The study surveyed 2,453 women who were assigned one of six water- or silicone-based lubes during intercourse or solo s*x. Both enhanced all different types of s*x, though water-based performed better for an*l.
5. Open up: By this I mean opening the “avenues of communication,” not her legs. In the third wave of the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, researchers asked 3,200 students aged 18 to 26 questions about self-esteem, empathy, s*xual health and satisfaction. Scientists ufound that empathetic males were most responsive to their partners’ needs. In other words, to be a better lover: put your partner’s s*xual needs before your own, communicate what you like and don’t like, and stop being so damn selfish in bed
6. Play with your but: Hear me out on this one, guys. It’s 2017 and we should be less reluctant to prostate play. Luxury s*x toy retailer LELO has done a great amount of research into the man’s G-Spot to find that not only do men who experiment with prostate play experience bigger and better orgasms (33 percent bigger, even), but also have thicker and stronger erections. Prostate massage has also proven to help prevent erectile dysfunction and the odds of an enlarged prostate.
7. Say those three special words: Researchers from multiple universities surveyed nearly 39,000 people who had been in long-term relationships and discovered just how important it is to say “I love you” during s*x. Research found that 75 percent of sexually satisfied men and 74 percent of women reported that “I love you” was said during s*xual encounters, compared to 49 percent of sexually dissatisfied men and 44 percent of women.
8. Be good: Girls may dig the asshole, but the nice guy is better in bed. A study published in the British Journal of Psychology found that people who have an “altruistic” (or compassionate) personality are more selfless in bed, which translates to more successful mating. Which isn’t actually all that surprising. What is surprising, however, is that nice guys are generally perceived as better friends than they are lovers. Let’s change that.
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